Write to Breathe

Air Mata Di Aidilfitri

2008-10-05T02:00:00.001+08:00

Kemuliaan.
Aku rindu padaMU.
Hati resah selalu adalah suatu petanda tiada kesyukuran bukan?
Haih..
mengapa hati sedih ni?
mengapa tidak ketahuan mengapa?
Air Mata,
Datanglah
Lagi lagi di hari raya mulia ini
Tersemat isinya bulan yang meriah
Meriah lah hati ku
Doa ku..

Ku kejar hidup lama
Ku terlepas hari ini
Ku kendong bukit harapan
Ku tersadong tidak kesampaian

Di mana angin berhenti
Hilang wajah arah
Hati resah
Inilah hidupku kini

Di Aidilfitri ku mohon padaMu
Ya Allah,
jatuh lah air mata ku
bersihkan jiwa ku
kembalikan kemuliaan diriku

Senantiasa Ya Allah
ku mahukan ketetapan pendirian
sendirian ku tidak sunyi
malam ku tidak alpa

Ya Allah
Ampunkanlah segala dosa dosa ku
Ku pohon
Merasa nikmat kemuliaanMu
Tekak ku dahaga kan air suci
Hidupkanlah semula jiwa ku

kerana aku sudah lama...mati.

The Sad Florist

2008-09-09T14:11:00.003+08:00

I passed her two afternoons,
She glanced an empty gaze,
I swooned over my plans in bloom,
Among flowers, she stood frozen stiff.

I wonder if she was happy,
Filled with freshness everyday,
I dream of romance and singing,
Forgotten she was there.

I filled my day with laughter,
Crossing shoulders with kind strangers,
But I ran away with golden ticket,
Knowing time never stood still.

I walked back towards the same way,
Passed the florist and her life,
She hold a new pose on a pole,
As she lay her head in stale.

I see now the Sad Florist,
How life shows its disguise,
A beautiful painting of a perfect scenery,
Was never who she was.

flick.

i picked out a Red rose,
present to her with the sincerest smile,
she passed an empty gaze,
i saw twinkles in her eyes.

i nod and walk away again,
remembering her through out my life.

1.47am 9.9.08

Pretty Pretender

2008-07-22T01:28:00.002+08:00

You, make it less than it ought to be,
a shining starry night.
You, make more from a memory,
dreaming every time sun shines.

but you don't know that it's all right,
to have it all, pain and happiness,
did not need to hide it all inside,
or turn this world exactly how you want.

let them see your eyes,
where true beauty lies,
it would make more soul restless,
and make the pain painless.

Letterbox

2008-06-13T07:01:00.001+08:00

There, a letterbox.
and it is red,
it shines at sun's greet.

a firing soldier on duty,
a proud carrier of hope,

once that is what it is
to me.

Then, the letterbox.
is pale red,
washed out betrayed by the sun.

an old one wheel bike,
a passe of modernity,

there goes what it is
to me.

How i long for 'the wait',
to see the postman's face smile,
delivering his soul to me,
thankful for the joy i bring today.

this normal communication,
warmth in the sun,
needing of each other,
even for the simple ones.

we ought to be a keeper.
the smile.
in the sun.
alive.

Lost

2008-04-30T13:14:00.002+08:00

I am sorry that you are lost.
Even more, that you like it.

**also in LostinSpace Collection

@}~~~~~

2008-04-04T04:26:00.000+08:00

@}~~~~~
to write or not to write?

to tell it all or sink,
keep moving against the wind,
will you not follow?

to dream or be real,
ignore that life robbed your will,
will you not fight?

to feel or be alone,
stories numbered right on your stone,
will you remember?
@} ~~~~~
to live or not to live?

to stay or run away,
to stop or constant drop,
to push or pull back in,
to pray or keep the faith,
@}~~~~~
who are you or do you know?
@}~~~~~

Laundry Day

2008-02-11T17:31:00.000+08:00

kick myself around this apartment
painting it all in red
open up all of white windows
letting air be more than its meant

than what i needed to breathe
change my perception of
what it takes to be clean
from grieve

i'm not leaving anything behind
its a painting if i was painter
but I'll settle this ugly feeling
cause its my Laundry Day

i rather take a walk than to view
done sitting around thinking
if the coke machine decided to break
ill kiss goodbye and be on my way

to the next paying asker give it all for free
I'll say it again if ever you loose your eyes
what it takes to be clean
from grieve

is taking everything now
its a book if i was a writer
and i'm settling this ugly feeling
cause its my Laundry Day

its a splashing Sunday,
happier Monday,
funny Tues and Weds,
releasing Thursday,
the cliche Friday
with extra Saturday..
all ever after it seem
Today..
Today....my Laundry Day ;)

(**and yes...i am loving the freshness afterwards)

Take your place (it's time...)

2008-02-09T17:17:00.000+08:00

kick it like a wild child
play it like rock & roll
feel it in like a rockstar
this is what we've been waiting for

get engaged like a bridge fireworks above it
looking down from the edge throwing all our regrets
sting your time like a bee so its hurt so we'll leave
catching up with our breathe coz we are living free

let's make us a big fire
and make the stars proud
punch a change from your brain
coz time and space is a waste

we are more than before
stronger,posed and knew more
this isnt hard to explain
step right up, it's time...

Take your place.

**wrote this sometime last month, haven't really completed.(i think).but now it seem like it is.
for now,this is it :)

~for those who need just a little push xx~

Love in J Note

2008-02-04T05:46:00.000+08:00

i am one among the stars
i shine too
without me, one intensity is lost
leaving the night
one blank space
lifeless

i am one among the stars
i see too
below me, there's one dimming light
looking into night
shooting wishes
hope in living

i love God more
as i know less
i love God more
as i fall
i love God more
as i see distance
but i love God more
as i feel the presence
forever

i love you more
if you are for me
maybe the stars
align differently
perfectly

a useless Anger Note to the Low People

2007-10-31T03:06:00.000+08:00

you can only wish
to have some kind of courage
you can only dream of living
like a fairy tale in a nightmare surroundings

cause you don't have what it takes to be me
you don't have the words to address the words of a king
nothing like a bug you fleet with red dots
little lightbugs with little spark

just little
cause i see through your big hat
that you forget to take off to bow
must have been your head is as little
as your little heart
that you needed to hide as low as you can

this must be said
this is a shame
but im done taking off blame from the murderer
it's time for the offender
your punishment stage is all in order

i can smile as if im nine
i could act like a ruler in my own stand
my eyes are shut, i am blind
when it comes to seeing what you hide behind
not cause i cant see right through you
it is simply that "i dont want to!"

let go of your efforts to make me small
nothing you say will make sense
cause only the true warrior see with a heart
and a rat like you wont stand a chance

so you see you cant have my pride
you cant have what you cant have
its not about luck
its about you not having any guts

cause the worthy knows that truth is rare
and only the worthy...dares!

Don't Kill The Moon

2007-10-07T06:48:00.000+08:00

1
lying on the floor
won't make the sky fall
with the blanket on
with the saddest song
playing your mind on and on
rooted pain growing strong

***
what feel is real
don't question
even if sun up with the rain
it's still clear to see
through the breeze
that you can turn it any way around the moon
go around and be found
there's always stars shooting down
but
don't kill the moon
don't kill the moon

***

2
staring long to the space
more minutes you waste
i can swear this isn't the sight
we all wish at night
but dawn push the moon down
taking you deeper underground

3
whatever the moon want to mention
let it haze in the air
and after fog covers and torn view apart
then walk away

sept 2007

"Red Bus"

2007-10-07T06:40:00.000+08:00

there's a little boy asking me for direction
i cant help myself but stare
wonder about the age
from his eyes

little that i say the more he shoots out confusion
he do what i do
wondering if he should ask
the next one

funny how things go
when unfamiliar stole
our precious white lies
that all is all right

did you manage to stop today
with days getting busier everyday
the ride can always be found
when you didn't come around

so take a seat
wait in line
can you make the time
for the little kid in us
riding the Red Bus

sept 2007

Dysfunctional Queen

2007-07-03T01:30:00.000+08:00

i've been there and done that
there was you then there's regret
later i learned something right
world can reappear Mighty Might

(*)
come and see its a grandeur show
the Dysfunctional Queen let out her glow
may it blind your sight!
ill break ya with my might!
and leave you trembling wide open!

History, a mystery sometimes its trickery
what you know can never be what you see
So baby dare to touch destruction
it'll be your first construction

build your perception
darkness doesnt always hide
light at the end is not a promise
learn that her will is her lesson.

feb 8,2007
edited july 2,2007

Dream

2007-07-03T01:10:00.000+08:00

there was a time
i thought i lost my way
looking for answers
in a familiar place

to be together forever
trying not to fall
as we fall with each other
and nothing else matters

holding hands felt so right
our life flashes across the sky
holding hands we smile at the sight
to the end of whatever

whatever turns to be over
we still try not to fall
hands starts to depart ways
about nothing that matters

then comes the time
i still lost my way
there were no answers all along
i should know
nothing live outside
a Dream.

the List

2007-07-03T01:00:00.000+08:00

ever since this morning
the list keeps turning
changing
forcing me to fall down my knees

without a sound
it knocks me out from slumber
desperation is now gone
singing
the answering parade

how can i fight the moon and the rising sun
they agree never to let me sleep again
like a butterfly i found wonder
flying across over to be between them

without a sound
i walk away new step
awkward and familiar
sinking
rising as my armor fall off

ever since the scar speak
the list shred to pieces
hurting
healing everything, i am on my way

say way

2007-05-21T22:30:00.000+08:00

say stay? or say hate!
say it to my one ear
say great that its too late
make,break or take
one word to save this mistake
being stupid is impossible
while you seek life for your sake
for my sake i go through it all
it's not what matters
as human as i aim to be
i am ashamed to co-exist with your existance
i write this and scream at your invincible face
"you are fake,late and never will be great!"
cause i forgave you at this precise note,
just until you reach your grave.

Impetus Rule

2007-05-05T03:52:00.000+08:00

erase behind the center note,
split the paper in two,
half of the complications i wrote,
now clearer than when i was with you,
say it twice, more is wise,
plastic cups crushes,
i would have run foolish being nice,
my legs asleep like ashes,
no more burning,no more game,
i bang the golden cymbals,
may it caught you as you are fader,
as i have swept into motion,
my impetus,bless you,
as my sanity is now awakens.

Eye,Feel?

2007-04-18T02:36:00.000+08:00

draw an eye,
have no fear for reflection do not lie,
it spoke;

"of the deep will not hurt,
of the dark will not swallow,
of the doom will not haunt,"

betrayal of a knife took place

eye vanish,
lost to the battalion of waves
as the sense in a senseless eye
breed vengeance through disguise

the dance will not stop!

really,reflection never lie,
spoke the eye;

"of the galaxy will i see,
of the world will i be,
of you will i seek,"

The Wall of Rose

2007-04-03T12:51:00.000+08:00

staRe. The Wall whispers
blinK. Fear taunts
gulP. Curiousity thirst

step,slow..another

ArriVe. Curiosity bows
So Long. Fear ran away
AmaZe. The Wall pray

open,quick!..reveal!

the wall prisoned by thorns
Rose raised her palms
picking weakest feelings
of tortured aura singing

Rose traced an old place
heads rush reaching to her
Her tiny heart begin to race
her tiny palm turns gray

The Wall stand above the mountain
Singing fears of lost soldiers lost
Curious Rose sends hope in
Into them through her palm into stone

A tiny thorn kissed Rose thumb
Her whole body turns numb
The Wall cries open a thorn less space
InViting.Rose is home.

SMILE

2007-03-31T08:16:00.000+08:00

wiggles my toes in the air
all i can do is stare
down below into your eyes
feeling so high

this abnormality
cames as a surprise to me
never knew how it comes to this
ashamed of my insanity

so i jumped off this party boat
catch a yellow safe ride
and away goes i float
into the ocean up through the air
but somehow i never feel so free
i sure smile back to me...

they say im a mess
when its time to confess
stopping the clock or break
whatever way i dont care

this loud reaction
states independence day
but i was stupid enough to hide
so i burned in my own stake

so i jumped off this party boat
catch a yellow safe ride
and away goes i float
into the ocean up through the air
but somehow i never feel so free
i sure smile back to me...

whatever gets so high
soon will have to land back
on the empty rug
a house of warm embrace

all it took just your smile for me...

(*i wrote this after i watched reruns - Smallville Season 4 : Clark Kent & Lana Lang Prom Dance)

Masquerade

2007-03-19T00:46:00.000+08:00

masquerade

all the pretty dresses
and man's charming faces
unfortunately i'm stuck with laces
stealing smiles and blowing kisses

oh dignity it slipped out off the window
once i experience how love is
red skirts spins and shining shoes follow
golden threads on,messes quiet surface
*********************************
(*)
so you thought
the night still young
don't ever waste this delight
but don't you know
this will be pretty no more

live full tonight baby
cause tomorrow for sure
the pain will undress unmask
will you leave it all behind?
**********************************
masquerade

shining entrance up the hall
colourful gems dances below
innocence drove into the rythm
flesh in them, found coral desire

oh dreams they rush you in neverending
cause when i know less, i surrender
temptations behind the nodding angels
fantastic lies laughing to my face
(*)
**********************************
masquerade
the sensation
expectations
losing yourself is so easy
in this perfection
(*)
************************************

Where Day Belong

2007-02-27T15:39:00.000+08:00

where do day belong
its been too long
i haven't heard my song
oh no..now i am not strong
***
oh i've tried and i've fight and i've tried
pull me out of this tide
open the door i ain't staying no more
go to where day belong
that's where i want to be...
***
how much will time take
i feel that all is such fake
when will i get my chance
to fix all of my mistakes
***
oh i've tried and i've fight and i've tried
pull me out of this tide
open the door i ain't staying no more
go to where day belong
that's where i want to be...
***
hard i wish all is just a dream
that soon i will wake and all went away
but no,its where day belong
after we hurt then we start to move on
***

crash and burn

2007-02-14T10:05:00.000+08:00

insanity feeds anamoly
less than that
it prisoned our intellection

feel free...

cause time will not tell
the crosses that you would dare
when death whispers...
it caught you,defenseless
crashed and burned...

so bind time defeat arrogance
faster than light
fallen by the darkman's artifice

feel you...

cause time will not tell
the crosses that you would dare
when death whispers...
it ripped you,effortless
crashed and burned...

awake and decide
you'll never loose your faith
fist yourself hard
to fall in the land of grace
unveil,extricate and rectify...
crash and burn...

cause time barely unravels
the crosses you should take
before death whispers
you need to relive now
so,crash and burn...

Am I (the right kind)

2007-02-12T05:15:00.000+08:00

~for the unheard voices~

she own two soft hands...am i the right kind
he have perfect taste in fashion...am i the right kind
despite that we're kinda genius..am i the right kind

am i acceptable

so i go on listing if i ever be the right kind
and i never ever lied..am i perfect for this kind
oh i wish it..is it enough to show that i am right

am i exceptional

sing...
am i the right kind
sing...oo sing..
am i the right one

to be loved and be cared
to be helped when im down

but i walk bare feet..ground cuts and it never felt nice
no sound when i speak..questions in screams are not nice at all
when i die..its the same feeling...its never kind

am i invincible

sing...
i am the right kind
sing...oo sing...
i am the damn right one

to be loved and be cared
to be helped when im down

oooo...i am...and i am...
i am

(p.s: i dont usually explains what i write..as long as its like seeds that grows through perceptions..but this one i wrote when i thought of victims of wars,hopeless young generations who never had the chance to seek dreams and be whoever they want to be..then again feel free to see whatever you felt like...)

Come What May

2007-02-07T05:04:00.000+08:00

hello down under
here we go again
there's more to discover?
great view of Mountain Pain

stay in child
greet cloud's lullaby
sing its song..."come what may"
come what may

when i was a young one
i laughed at mistaken grace
never knew what's going on
i bow when Earth forsakes

stay in child
greet cloud's lullaby
sing its song..."come what may"
come what may

suddenly land decides
to let loose its freedom's right
you will see its face
that you thought was grace

soon they'll be nothing
absolutely nothing
then you'll start to...
pray

oh come what may
no matter how far away
oh Sea of Broken Dreams
open your heart to me

of seeing what's here

2006-10-16T21:50:00.000+08:00

sitting on the wonder chair
tired of playing fair
have we reach that far
becoming less than who we are

once in a while we stand still
waved away brave men set sail
in time is there time to prevail
what's good and needed to exhale

do we know how to see?
i desperately needed to be
one who knows that its here
dont you wanna join me,and feel
what's real in this journey

do you mind being the one
to tell me that its this season
that i had conquered and won
later its ok to let little things be gone

if the sun will keep on shining
i understand its not yet the ending
but will we ever appreciate the living
comes the end whats left is this yearning

do we know how to see?
i desperately needed to be
one who knows that its here
dont you wanna join me,and feel
what's real in this journey

how lovely this words play
dreams that never meant to astray
setting the sail back to the way
come what may...

Leave Me Be

2006-10-15T09:04:00.000+08:00

would you like to
be the rain
for the love of falling down

or would you like me
to forgive you
for the sake we can move on

but now i dont feel the same
without you
its no science

im angry im hurt im lost
without you
its the heart

and i dont feel like talking
and fix this
its impossible

cause i like to
be a mess
for the need to find the rest

so i leave you
for destruction
maybe not but i dont care

here in my own skin
watch the fire burnt out
through the night...

"oh freedom" (Tribute to the real Muslim Fighters)

2006-10-05T19:48:00.000+08:00

cant hug the same tree like 10 years ago
old kettles aint an antique then
we wait for spaceship to land now
soon a package to galaxy cost less

funny these thought sounds then
yet we put war in front of the door
people are crazy they beat themselves
just to prove that IQ are higher than value

what am i crapping about
less facts unnecessary stress
but those little things which we shut our eyes
escape and shield our warmth

i saw places burned on tv
yet im scared to break a silence
stupid pathetic arrogant weak
but no not cruel

aint it the same thing?

silence drive the road back to the past
where freedom desperately being fought
now..once again.
oh freedom Allah blessed us all with
we destroy!
its 12.35am
every minute is a chance
of freedom to be lost
or freedom to be protected
we pray!
we learn!
we prepare!
we wake!
we love!

understand?

to heal

2006-10-05T18:33:00.000+08:00

closet's door restless
disturb by the open view
wind angry senseless
to the world it blew

where to begin
what's the best to move on
from this bitterness inside
when fired might kill
yet in the end it supposed to heal

beautiful waves
disaster's craves
to collect the lost souls
and leave the rest to learn

where to begin
what's the best to move on
from this bitterness inside
when fired might kill
yet do i really know the end heals?

this life works
such an inspiration such tragedy
it took everything
but it gives everything back that's good in me

Become

2006-10-05T13:49:00.000+08:00

do we know to save the life
of people next to us
when hope is far
and lies are what we are

i feel today
i can't find the words to say
what i meant
i feel alone

that there's something tinkling inside
drumming in my head up right
the music in this soul is crying
release
and become

c/o:
so say the words,
become you its all there is to it
to believe
that life becomes what you seek
be true
become you...

do i know what song to sing
when people wants to dance
when my wonder kept on wander
and im lost without a sense

of what i feel today
i can't find the words to say
what i meant
i feel alone
**c/o

release and become
release the tinkles and the drums
let music play a part and become
words...
words...
words...

Forever New

2006-10-02T08:58:00.000+08:00

i conciously mapped out
the path of the branches
crosses and twists
and make a new world

underwater beats
humming slow and softly
until music sleeps
seemingly forever beneath

what ties together?
new age and deceitful forever?
both lies masked by truth
both dies sooner than youth

simple apart and together

2006-09-06T19:22:00.000+08:00

i smiled at you and bid you goodbye
then all my tears fall down from my eyes
if there's a chance for me to stay with you
i know that i wont take it even if i want to

but this you know and i know too
we understood what we must do
and those time when we're apart
another life soon will start

until the time that meant to be
look out the window and we can see
each others dreams are folds together
forever in stars that gathers

this path we promised to walk in
will cross soon and meet us back in
then my tears years ago will be gone
and you will smile at me and say we have won

in between

2006-09-05T19:49:00.000+08:00

there's only sky above that covers you
there's only land below that carry you
and in between are
seas that sink you in,
forests that lost you in,
and people,they turn you upside down

you can fly with wings of dream
you can sleep deeper in the underground
but in between are
dreams that become real
sleep that you can wake up from
and people,they learn to love to live

everyday, in between
everything, in between
all i'll be and all you'll be
all are in between
you and me

a wanderer

2006-08-19T01:23:00.000+08:00

when clouds gather as one,
storm will knock the tree
a wanderer beneath,
his pencil dance,then later he reads,
and the earth listens to him
flowers and long grass bow to agree,
birds above share their beauty,
way up high, he gaze afar
whether a glimpse of heaven
through storm then beyond clouds,
if he could hold,
that the hope he wrote,
do exist.

wish i could stay

2006-08-14T22:59:00.000+08:00

a lonely chair i sat to think
and on and on i sat on it
in a bus,a plane or train
looking all so innocent

a wooden flute i wish to hear
and on and on i try to play
in my hands its turning cold
looking all used and old

a paper boat i hope it float
and on and on it sail away
in a park with little pond
looking fragile and in grace

wish i could stay...

but color crayons i see myself
and on and on it play around
the paper cry it will be tore
looking full or beautiful?

wish i could stay...
wish i could stay...
wish i could,
stay...

Color of Crayons

2006-08-13T01:21:00.000+08:00

do you wanna be blue
be like the dolphins
or be gloom
do you like yellow
sunflowers swifts slow
or roots stuck below
do you prefer green
trees becoming mountains
or swamps that look mean
do you see red
be the same as blood
or keep away from the siren
do you consider black and white
be certain
or be grey
do other colors play too
be morphed into uniqueness
or be aliens

collect all color of crayons you like
make your masterpiece

the Inside

2006-08-11T13:22:00.000+08:00

i look out from the inside
my heart's taken out from inside
wind blows colder in the inside
my body freezes

i stepped out from the inside
edens left alone in the inside
fairies lost to the inside
my body freezes

angels take the inside away
night asleep in the inside
wide desert of an inside
cant see any way

give me back my inside
i cant be right

change

2006-08-09T23:01:00.000+08:00

the sky has been torn apart
and all the stars are falling down on me
other planets lost their color
and so does my dream

things are changing
it teach us how to breathe
in time where death appears

so i fall down on my knees
closed my eyes and start to breathe
and stars are all i see
they drowned in the deep black sea

then i wake up from the dream
float above the sea
looking down on my feet
now all the stars are shining up to me

things are changing
soon ill glow too bright
in time where there's no light

so i fall down on my knees
closed my eyes and start to breathe
and stars are all i see
they drowned in the deep black sea

but time comes in
and change me...

what i do not know

2006-07-30T23:03:00.000+08:00

i want to close my eyes and be able to see rain
how it falls and how magically it appears to be
i want the silence to be peaceful coz i wonder
where's the beautiful melody that can save me
i want to walk smoothly on the white beach
but when its time for winter to go, summer hasnt reached

honestly i dont know what to know
i dont remember how words flow
time pass by as slow as snow
oh soon ill grow but i dont think so

i want to tipped my fingers on the sheet of sky
release a falling star come crashing into my heart
i want to sing softly to entertain the wind
and let myself blown away to the open windows
i want a perfect drum sound welcoming my entrance
so i could pretend that i am alive

i dont know what to know
i dont remember how words flow
time pass by as slow as snow
oh soon ill grow but i dont think so

will i recall the truth in time
did i knew that i meant to it
have i fly that far
oh turn around and run..run..run

coz i dont know what to know
i dont remember which word flow
time pass by as slow as snow
oh soon ill grow but i dont think so

i dont think so

closed door

2006-07-27T11:47:00.000+08:00

a day is done you feel you've won
i believe its gonna end soon
you savour your meal like gold
and made you a king

behind closed doors
you kept the bad
telling yourself that
those hands are saved

little precious believe she's happy
i believe its gonna be summer soon
but she said she's not ready
to be called a queen

i can see through the door
chaos grew everywhere
nothing in your heart i cant see
oh hidden behind those closed doors

same songs rewinding
all questions starts here
the more you throw away
the less you're getting

open the door
and step outside
the universe calls for you

on my own

2006-07-26T17:06:00.000+08:00

life is charmed
i have a charmed life
yeah!

so stop looking over my shoulder
i still lie under the same sky
yeah!

i just want to find my own way to live
to be better..on my own

life is a connection
you me we have a relation
yeah!

so i rock your world
dont worry you rock mine too
yeah!

but i just want to find my own way to stay alive
to be better..on my own

so dont you treat me like a child
we all still have little innocence
oh,i am alone
yeah
but im not lonely
no

so leave me be i want to find my way home
to be a Hero..on my own

my Idioms

2006-07-25T18:45:00.000+08:00

the ocean rattles
whatever made it feels
should the anchor be unleashed

a ghost stand on the other side
haunting to be seen
even presence in an old picture in an old house

crossover the river
battles the deep forest land
befriend the myth of the old predator making it a kin

flowers turn to black paper
its ashes crackles are defeaning
but it never wake the sleeping beauty

so could you stand?
could you stand?
could you stand?
could you?
anyone?
could you stand?

im not me

2006-07-22T21:35:00.000+08:00

im not the enemy
im just a puppet without strings
im a total independent

i dont want to scare you off
im just trying to get it on to start
my life without regrets

maybe ive been like a rock tht dont move
maybe all i need is someone to break it through
to get inside my head
to get inside my heart
see the insane ive been retained

are you ready now?
are you?

im not a cold hardcore death
im just inside this ice cube hall
yearning to be burned

i hope you wont run off
to play in never never land
where i could never go

take me away with you
lead me to the bright sun
where i can see the whole universe

lead me by
by you

Cycle of Today

2006-07-18T17:24:00.000+08:00

what to write today?
my day is worst
not to mention my hair too
ive been cracking up my mood

what to feel today?
i havent wake up from an early sleep last night
sun is high up and about to come down
my eyes focusing on the ceiling

what to do today?
i walk around in the city
watching people walk by
and counting my steps from home to the coffee cafe and back

what to think today?
listen to rocking tunes beating up my sorrow
making me angry inside
kicking to burst open the door

what is today?
a cycle of worthless words
a cycle of emotionless emotion
a cycle of routine
a cycle of boredom

what is tomorrow?
a day to break the cycle of today!

5.59pm,18july.wgtn.

shouldnt go there

2006-07-18T13:11:00.000+08:00

come closer
yes you
dont look around
im talking to you

come to me
yes that's it
dont care about others
my arms are here

yes im dark
and the noise is behind you
why go there?
when you can see here?

im not twisting
there's no lie
everything is right here
believe me, i know

closer..yes closer
just follow me
take my hand

we're going to neverland

1 minute

2006-05-12T10:52:00.000+08:00

hey 1 minute
u think u can hide?

left it all tied up with your fate
kept me choked in the box of waste

im not carving the box
im not making it home

lived by your will power
u think u had won?

still waiting for the ancient weapon
while u feed my soul

1 minute
u still here
u still here
u still here

3pm,room,wgtn

Orange Leaves

2006-01-26T00:40:00.000+08:00

"Orange Leaves"

its not time for you yet
dont change for me
be you be green
its what ive been longing to see

as i pass by as time flies
as the earth stays
as the sky covers me safe

the feel of knowing
of me wanting to see you as a painting of a tree
while the wall is falling bringing it with

so much i would miss the color green
yet i am so stunned by the orange leaves

as i pass by as time flies
as the earth stays
as the sky covers me safe

the orange leaves tree replaced
the very existance of the green painting

the feel now of knowing
that orange leaves dont stay

i will keep orange leaves close to my heart
and when it all falls dead to the ground
as goes my heart too
deep deep in my soul
orange leaves....................lives...

12.59am 25th jan 2006 home

'no more rhyme'

2005-10-28T18:49:00.000+08:00

why not just tell it straight up
all these words twirling confusing just to have a meaning
those rhyme being put that sometimes doesnt make sense
isnt the truth has its own face without the mask

everyone now is so intelligent
nothing seems to be that difficult, too discreet or hidden
but people are more angry to themselves
nothing is ever enough

there is no way out
trees grow until the end there is leaves
we are all waiting to fall
not a clue what will happen when we're in the ground

there is no where to run
nowhere to hide
you must live
you must live
you must live

forget the unknown
hold dear to what is here
and live

although when you picture the end its scary
there is nothing you can do
just follow the truth
and live by it

Trapped

2005-10-28T16:21:00.000+08:00

"Trapped"

everyday we hear the insanity of our heart
let it be
let it stay

to let go is to be free
but free is not painless
be ready for war

will it take you to your desired journey
can you hold the pictures you dream
is a fool's wish isnt worthy?
when all it brings is more dream?

how can a tree move if it needed the root to stay?
the heart is deep where the body shouldnt follow
in mind there's traffic but the body lay still
where there is will but there's no way clearly seen

all is like a life within a dream
and a dream within time
too far away you went
the harder to survive
wishes upon wishes
dreams upon prays
but life is ending...

Brown Picture Stories

2005-10-26T21:14:00.000+08:00

i stopped and stare at the hour
i watch the wind pass me by
i imagine the past as a brown coloured pictures
i went into it and look outside

i see things i dont understand
it frightens me that such thing exist
i reason with myself that it is just stories
when the tell finish it became history

my heart is heavy
my heart has no space
it tightens my spirit
it kills my hope

oh world you are big
i see it now it is full because there is pain
i prefer my little world
my dark worthless world

oh my the pain
its stabbing the inside
oh please stop but it wont
until its course are fullfilled

little i realize that while i was watching the brown picture stories
mine is being written

6.14 am, 26 october 05, welly
edited 18 July 06,11.35pm,wgtn

Friends Version 3 ("Hand in Hand")

2005-10-24T17:34:00.000+08:00

"hand in hand"
I
there's more to life
you show me that
i can be me
you told me that

my friends
you're my favourite crowd
i feel so grand
feel like im wearing a crown

hand in hand we face the day
but we are alone in our own way
but its ok
its not so crazy

II
there's lesson we learned
i show you that
we can be us
much more than that

my friends
things are not so bad
cause you are there
along the ride

hand in hand we face the day
but we are alone in our own way
but its ok
its not so crazy

III
lets walk together
reach out our dreams
do what we do
be what we want to be
my friends
we are free

In A Box That Never Exist

2005-10-24T16:52:00.000+08:00

i feel so blue
i dont know what is the truth
is it here now during my youth
when im so lost and confused?

i want to tear up all the pieces in me
i dont want to be in i want to be free
what does it mean all this confusion about you and me
am i you or you are me

twisted turning in this little box
trapped inside i cant figure anything out
i scream out loud my lungs burnt out
terrible dreams dont seem to stop haunting me down

doesnt anybody listen anything?
even the little sound of my cry squeaking?
im clinched clenched blended in the weakening
i can feel my whole body falls down trembling

i am cold it harden my door
smash it all down to the ground
crashed it with steps of torcher
it doesnt matter no more coz i can never be found

later my stories turned to dust
even the wind doesnt invite my senses
away it went to forever unknown
to the land that was never exist only borned

Friends Version 4 ("here")

2005-10-16T16:31:00.000+08:00

"Here"
I
flipping through the pages
i look at our happy faces
i started to wonder
how much we've grown
where so much had changed

its been so long
so long

II
the simple things in life
like laughter
when things is what it is
no past no future
and we are together

its been so long
so long

III
then comes the dark day
when you went away
everyone's sad faces
wishing more could be done
more time should be spent

it's been hard my friend
so hard

IV
that you are gone
the lesson you left
is that no matter how long
you are here

forever i miss you
i will remember
even if this photos fades
your smile will stay

Friends Version 2 ("Getting Throught the Day")

2005-10-16T16:26:00.000+08:00

"Getting through the day"

its our time
it is now
let us find
what we're looking for

sometimes it is crazy
sometimes it is fine
life can get pretty messy
but to you im still divine

c/o
friends there
when you need a break
to crack up
winding up
lifting up
and put my smile back on
get me through the day

II
faces changes
as times passed
true friends never fades away
close by when i need them
in sun in rain in fun in pain

now when we found what we're looking for
we cherish it even more
cause i know
friends are worth keeping for

III
thank you friends
life is much easier
thank you friends
life is much greater
thank you true friends
life is more sincere

IV
when the dusk is coming
and i am ready to dream
tomorrow will be ok
cause you are here to stay

Friends Version 1

2005-10-16T06:06:00.000+08:00

its not the pictures that we take
or the memories that we make
but the feelings that was created
that will be carried through time

in time of ease
we will be reminded of those great feels
when things are easy
when things are just sweet

of all the faces
my friends, i'll remember
especially the ones that are there
and the ones that really care

and one of future times
i will miss you then
and the feels will never loose
and i will have smiles that will never fades

Apology

2005-10-13T07:50:00.000+08:00

people want too much
the small things are not enough

like an apology that were spoken
is hollow, senseless, a dead thing

grace needs to be wrapped, cared, kept
the better the brighter the light

alone, its weak

like an apology without consequences

it could never last
it could never be whole

on the side of the street

2005-05-04T19:53:00.000+08:00

train of people crawled into my vision

flashes of the sun comes in and out
but deep down there's black still

silence conquer subdivisions of echos
self capture own sound

focus fixed on a point infront
clearly see the unseen

senses gathered hectically
absorbed into inches of knowledge

purely satisfied by the creation of truth
lost in the founding of it

the black world is white
and the white ones fades...

head over heels

2005-04-26T17:47:00.000+08:00

r u tempted to figure out
wats inside my heart

r u crazy to take me out
where moon shines creates art

is it too hard not to see
how your eyes look at me

coz its pretty scary to me
that i cant breathe when u speak

too much waves
heavy rain start falling
wash me away to a place
what seems to be safe

in here
out there
so small
no air

take me flying
floating above the clouds
white wind
soft voice

when im done being happy
catch me
when im in your arms
keep me
when im out of my head
save me
when im scared
hold my hand
when i say i love you
marry me

what more should i say?
im yours.

i remember you

2004-12-11T22:05:00.000+08:00

when there's a blank space
i see you
when i see myself in the mirror
i see you

staring at the starry sky
again i see you
imagining my unborn child
their faces like you

too clear
too deep
too hard
too late

this is how i see you
in my wake
in my dream
like a blind man who sees with their heart

the more i see you the better
coz all i ever wanted now..
is to erase every pieces of you
coz i dont want you anymore.

the end

2004-12-08T19:50:00.000+08:00

i need love
i need air
i need love
i need care

not you
no more
not old
no way

pray
scream
love
despise
charity
revenge

the end is still coming...

will you be here?
will i be here?

the end holds the key...

wait..wait..wait...

does it really matter???????

do you see?

2004-12-08T19:45:00.000+08:00

under the bed
under the table
under the tree

behind the bench
behind the door
behind the tree

in the room
in the car
in the tree

can't u see?
im waiting
can't u hear?
im listening
can't u love me?
im yours.

moment

2004-12-08T19:40:00.001+08:00

im screaming
its here
the heartless moment
the heaviest heart

fuck away
be dead
the hell with you
i hate you

im tired
its gone
the breathless me
the empty soul.

The Unlost and The Lost

2004-06-26T22:08:00.000+08:00

once i avoid this place
some chosed to stay
but i choose to endure my imaginary pain
rather than let people create it for me

safe inside
with wary smile
they could not get me
for they are the fools not i

true that my world seems so dark
but the lights outside are more blinding
surprisingly this darkness have it's will
it had lead me to an unknown place

here now a place with soft lights
full color and sweet sounds so nice
fond of this new place,so i left my home
the force is not the sights but is the wind

safe here outside
with ease breathe
they never again get me
for now they remain the fools not i